I first met Tony while working at Lutheridge and his friendship felt like home. He had a unique gift for being in relationship and focusing on what mattered in life. In 1993 (I think), we became close friends when I served as the Senior High Area Director. He would often join my outings, hiking with anywhere from about 15 to 40 youth to places including Looking Glass Rock, Graveyard Fields, Black Balsam, Sam’s Knob, and Craggy Dome in Pisgah National Forest.
He let me live with him in his house in Chapel Hill while I was finishing up graduate school at NC State or as he would say, I was smart enough to take him up on his offer to live at his house. One of my favorite memories of his friendship is a time is when he got up to mow the grass one morning. I got up and looked out the window and saw that he was not mowing a section of the grass underneath my bedroom window – I knew what he was trying to do – mowing other parts of the yard so the sound of the mower wouldn’t wake me up. It was both humorous and immensely kind.
I got to travel with Tony out west. The photo I submitted for this story is one I took of him at Great Sand Dunes National Park. I enjoy photography, so traveling with him was the best. I know I was not the only one he did this with, but for a period of time when we would travel together, he’d ask, “What’s next boss?” Whatever I said was next, is what we did. He didn’t put expectations on my answers, or make other suggestions, he just went with what I wanted to do – really because he was just happy being in a National Park, but, I loved it.
In the summer of 2020, pandemic and all, Tony wanted to go to Richmond, Virginia because he had never seen the monuments along Monument Avenue. I am beyond thankful we pulled off that trip, thanks to Luke McEachern. We decided we would drive up and back in one day. I made arrangements for us to stop at Epiphany Lutheran Church. I knew it would be a safe place, away from people, for a restroom break and a picnic lunch. He, nor Luke, responded to my decree about packing lunches to take with us, so I figured they weren’t interested and we’d just find food somewhere once we got up there. We masked up and made the drive to Richmond. When it was time to eat, Luke and Tony both pulled out their packed lunches. After giving them both a concerning look, Tony asked, “Where’s yours?” Me, yeah, I didn’t bring one. Tony’s response, “That’s what you told us to do.” It had been too long since I had been around people who just did what I suggested. My lunch ended up being a handful of the cookies my mom had made for our trip.
Life for Tony was always about relationships and experiences. My life has been filled with both because of Tony: camping with friends for numerous years, a trip to Plains, GA to see former President Jimmy Carter and former First Lady Rosalynn Carter at their church for Sunday School; a trip to Indianapolis for the NCAA Men’s Final Four (where we left before the final game because Carolina didn’t make it to the final game, insert eye roll); Alison Krauss concerts, trips out west to explore and photograph Yellowstone, the Tetons, Glacier, Grand Canyon, Death Valley, Yosemite, Great Sand Dunes, Badlands, Black Canyon of the Gunnison, and Rocky Mountain National Park; a “perfect” trip to Washington DC that included hearing Nanci Griffith in concert at Wolf Trap with the National Symphony Orchestra, securing a parking spot right on the Mall, seeing Senator Strom Thurmond shuffle down a hallway in the Capitol, and watching a Women’s World Cup semi-final soccer game; going to Obama’s first Inauguration; and a final trip to Richmond, VA to see Monument Avenue.
And on the last one, he finally let me drive.